After I started struggling with depression, a close friend of mine started talking with me about going to some self help seminars. I wasn't that excited about the idea at first, but after thinking about how bad things were getting, I realized that I needed some serious help. I went to a few of the workshops, and I was blown away with how much they helped me. After only a few sessions, I felt more capable at resolving my own challenges and overcoming anger. This blog is all about thinking about your life in a different way and trying to make positive changes.
Self-help gurus are strong, confident people. They didn't start out that way, it took them a lot of work and struggling to become the people they are. It is because they have been where you are that they can help. They understand how you are feeling and know what it took to reconstruct themselves. Because they have such strong personalities, there are a few things you need to understand when working with one.
Create Your Own Goals
When talking with someone who has remade his or herself, it is very easy to envy what they have achieved, and want it for yourself. However, you need to be sure that any goals you set for yourself are your own goals, and not copying the mentor's goals. List your goals, and why you want them. As you work towards the goals, ask yourself if you are making any progress and if you are happier because of it. If the answer is no, it is time to reevaluate your goals.
If the guru you are working with always acts as though everything is great, when in reality there are some negative things going on, it might be time for a new mentor. While remaining positive is a good thing, that does not mean that you lie to yourself. Accept that bad things happen, and then keep trying to turn them into something positive.
Remember it is "Self Help"
The best self-help guru works with you until you know how to use the different tools and techniques to help yourself. For example, if you are suffering from depression, you may learn how to meditate to increase the levels of serotonin and norepinephrine in the brain. Once you can meditate on your own, you no longer need the guru. You do no need to keep using his or her services until you reach your goal, only until you are progressing towards it on your own.
There are many self-help gurus out there. You want to find one who wants to help you become the person YOU want to be. In addition, the guru needs to be encouraging, but should be honest in his or her praise. If someone is constantly telling you everything is great, it can come as a huge shock to find out otherwise. It can be a big setback to your progress. While the industry is very lucrative, the guru should not keep trying to sell you more and more services that you do not need. Always keep in mind that everything you do together should be about healing you become self-aware and self-confident. The goal is always to become a better you.